On the 1st November 2012, I joined the quarter of a century club. I then proceeded in having a minor freak out, followed by some serious goal setting for the year ahead. This is the very serious master plan that I came up with:
1) Get my sh*t together
I have been living out of cardboard boxes for the past six months in temporary accommodation waiting for a visa to move to America. Now that the opportunity has fallen through (more about that another time), it is time to rebuild my life. I need to find somewhere to live and I need to find a more permanent job to be able to afford it.
2) Find a man
I have now been single for five years. This has not been intentional – I have just been busy. However, I would like to meet someone significant this year. The basic criteria is a) single and b) not an idiot. Hello dating websites, singles events, and friends who know people.
I was motivated by a moment in life that was sadly not too dissimilar to this scene in the extremely high brow cinematographic delight that is Definitely, Maybe:
Today I started getting my sh*t together by definitely deciding where I want to relocate to. I absolutely love the town – let’s call it Smallesville. It is charming, small, there’s every shop a girl could possibly want, restaurants galore, bars-a-plenty, lots of history, the arts, and but a short drive away from vast parks and a gorgeous lake.
As a gift from me to me to kick start the search for a man, I decided that I would buy a six month subscription to match.com. In the past, I have tried Christian dating websites but was overwhelmed by – to be perfectly blunt – the number of complete freaks on there. I feel mean being so rude about my Christian brothers, but after seeing profile picture after profile picture of complete bizarreness, such as a crying man gazing heavenward whilst wearing a crown of thorns or a Mormon standing in front of a Virgin Mary and child painting, I can honestly find no way to sugar coat things. A friend suggested that I sign up to a more general dating website and explicitly state that I have a faith. So that is what I have done.
Upon completing my profile and starting to peruse, I was encouraged: the odds looked good and the good weren’t odd. With my new relocation destination in mind, I decided to search for men aged 25 – 35 in Smallesville. And guess who appeared in my search? Yep, my current office crush who would not consider dating me in a million years.
Cue Alanis Morrisette and her ironic ways…